Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All the doctor said was why
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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