hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
