Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
