I just cut my nipple shaving
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
