I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
