don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
