I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
