For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
