I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
