I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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