Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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