I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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