Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
