Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
