why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
True strength comes from lack of pants
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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