someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
