I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
