i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
