so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
