I seem to have left my pride at pride
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
