He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
