Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
