I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
