i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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