used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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