stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
