guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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