Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's blow job season.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
