The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
