Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
