She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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