I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
