carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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