I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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