you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
