I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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