I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
