have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
