I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Someone came in the potted fern
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize