i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Michael Bay diarrhea
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
