I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
NoShamevember. You game?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
