I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
