There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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