We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
