At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
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