Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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