Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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