shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
