my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
