he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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