i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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