Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
