At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
