oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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