At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
