the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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