I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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