Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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