I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
