I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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