he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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