somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
