Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
