STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you didnt know i had herpes?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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