He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
